Online affairs, cyber-sex, sexting and sex-chat now seems to be the new way of hooking up for safe sex without any commitment or risk – but is it? If you randomly ask anyone “What is unsafe sex” the reply will be “sex without a condom” that is the least of it. There are always consequences for our actions and sin always has a price to pay.
– Are you lonely tonight –
For those who are unfamiliar with this behaviour, I will briefly explain it to you. An online affair is an online (Internet) romantic and sexual relationship, sometimes one of brief duration, between two people who are not married to each other. You might think that this sounds harmless and boring because you aren’t really with the person, but these relationships touch spiritual, deep emotional, sexual needs and desires. They can grow into a more permanent relationship where you meet the person in the flesh, have sex, and start a relationship that can lead to marriage or children. Online sex-chat and affairs start small, but can quickly become big. It may seem low risk, because they cannot touch you, or know your name unless you want them to. Ideally, you should just be able to turn off the power to your computer, and just walk away, but online affairs and sex-chat have many unseen drawbacks and risks that in the end, can cost you and the person you are having the affair with, everything you love and value.
Although I do not want to educate people on how to sin, I do want people to understand this behaviour so that they can identify and avoid it. Sex-chat happens when two people get online and either chat on their messenger (Yahoo, AOL, MSN, or whatever you use), or they chat in public chat rooms and go into a private conversation. There are also dedicated free porn sites that offer real-time video sex chat. When these people chat, they type in a romantic/sexual dialogue that is meant to stimulate and arouse each other sexually and emotionally, and they usually masturbate while doing it. I know your first question is; “how can they do all that with two hands?” Well, I guess you just have to be motivated and skilled enough, and that’s as far as I will go with that. Some people also have web cams, which allow them to visually interact, as well as using their microphone rather than using a keyboard to communicate. When they are done, they may move on to someone else, or become more attached to each other emotionally and begin a deeper online relationship.
-Not tonight Dear I’m loggin On –
Some people may take their relationship to the next level and meet, or some people actually leave their spouse and kids for their new online romance. The feelings of lust and infatuation can be very strong, but also very misleading and deceiving. You might think this is a horrible, selfish, and disgusting way for a responsible mother or father to act, but it is no different than throwing your life away for drugs or alcohol. They may be trying to relieve old unhealed emotional pain with sensual and emotional pleasure. We must be careful to always try to be objective about someone else’s problems, especially if you think you are beyond committing them. Cybersex is like ice cream, it may come in many flavours, but it’s still all just ice cream (and poisonous at that). Just because you like chocolate, and someone else likes vanilla, doesn’t mean that your ice cream is any better or worse than somebody else’s. The root problem and answer are the same for all who are trapped in sin.
Often after a climax during sex-chat, the lust subsides, and the guilt kicks in. You swear you will never do “that” again, and resolve to do what’s right from now on. The problem is, sin doesn’t let you off the hook that easy. That romance fix, or sexual fix you got today, will be crying out for even more gratification tomorrow. Plus, there is the physical need to have sex that will come back and push you for more gratification. What you used to think you controlled, now controls you. Some people throw their computers away, but loneliness and lust call them back again. Many people eventually get caught by their spouse, kids, boss, or someone else, and in one second everyone’s trust in you, and your reputation, can take a huge nosedive. If it is your spouse that catches you, you may be packing a suitcase, if it’s a boss, you may be cleaning out your desk. Does this sound far-fetched to you? Well, trust me, it’s not. It is a very serious problem in our culture and society today. Many marriages have been ruined by online affairs and sex-chat.
– filling the void –
Most men who are heavily into pornography lose interest in natural sex. Many women who were not affirmed and valued properly by their fathers will never feel validated as an adult woman, and will unconsciously and vicariously try to meet that unmet need through an affair(s). Online affairs, and sex-chat are nothing more than life-cheating adultery. God made good rules for us to live by, and we will be at our happiest, healthiest, and most satisfied, when we follow them. God also wants to heal your heart at the root level, from all the old unhealed emotional pain that you are trying to manage and relieve through sexual pleasure (affairs, sex chat, masturbation). If you are having an online affair or sex-chatting problem right now, then there is a way out of this dark hole you are trapped in my friend. If you are truly willing to let go of this addiction, God will do everything to help you. There are many people and couples, who have successfully worked through this, but you must be willing to surrender this problem to The Lordship of Jesus Christ completely. click here to go to Cybersex prayer.
It’s not only the adults who are involved in sexting, our kids don’t use their mobiles like we do. Check out this Teen sexting graph to see what they are up to.
Gen3x – Fighting Pornography
“Hear, O Israel, Ye Approach This Day Unto Battle Against Your Enemies: Let Not Your Hearts Faint, Fear Not, And Do Not Tremble, Neither Be Ye Terrified Because Of Them. “Deuteronomy 20v3