The thing about pornography is that you discover and forge relationships before you meet your future wife, friends and even the Lord. The adrenalin rush that pornography hands out can feel like it’s Christmas day and all your birthdays rolled into one.
So it’s not surprising that you at some point may have made a covenant or a promise to do whatever it takes to keep this treasure hidden so that your special friend won’t be exposed or taken away from you.
The words you speak carry life and death Pro 18 21 and at some point in your ” special friendship” you may have granted him the control he was longing for.
Your enemy is a legalist lying in wait to latch on to any careless words you may speak, so ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you your foolishness.