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February 21, 2013 By Janice

What Does It Mean to Come Under Submission?

BEAUTY FOR ASHES – HELP FOR A HURTING WIFE

 

DAY 14 – What Does it Mean to Come Under Submission?

 

EPHESIANS 5:23 – For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the Saviour of the body.

 

This Does Not Mean That Women Are Inferior

This is a verse which has caused many debates over the years.  In the past, I didn’t like it, because I wrongly came to the conclusion that it meant wives are inferior to their husbands.  However, it doesn’t say this at all. The bible tells us that men and women are ‘equal in status in Christ’, but each have distinct roles in life.  It is biblical for men to have the authority, but this doesn’t mean that we are ‘under the thumb.’  Men and women need one another.  In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 1 Corinthians 11:1. Men are to respect women the same as women are to respect men.  So the husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God’s image.

Matthew Henry wrote: “The woman was made out of Adam’s side. She was not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved”

Submitting is Not Always Easy

Submission should be a natural response to a loving husband, a continual attitude. When a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25-33), then submission will be easy from a wife to her husband.  Unfortunately, not all men make it easy for a wife to submit. Some are selfish and do not love their wives as Christ loves the Church.  God does not intend marriage to be a one-sided submission of a believing wife to a selfish, domineering husband.  Submission is a position of honour and completeness. Submission is not a wife being a “doormat” for her husband. However, as wives, we must submit in reverence and obedience to Christ.  God will give you the strength to submit when you surrender to Him first.

 

You Do Not Submit to Anything Unbiblical

Ephesians 5:24 says, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

 

Submission in marriage should always be Biblical
Submission in marriage should always be Biblical

A wife should submit to her husband in everything that is biblical.  Your husband has no authority to overrule your conscience by asking you to join him in a sinful act. If you are a godly woman, and your husband asks you to do things according to HIS corrupted will, and those things are sinful and contrary to the bible, you should not do them. You are not being submissive to your husband according to GOD’S will and for the good of your husband.  Even if your husband is a godly man, and commands you to do something against God’s will, you should not do it, as your husband is acting in a fleshly way. Please don’t blame yourself if your husband gets angry or quarrelsome when you do the right thing.  His bad choices have absolutely nothing to do with you.  It is up to him to choose life or death, blessings or curses.

Prayerfully and with a meek and quiet and submissive spirit, you can win your husband to obey God’s word.

 

Before Sin, God was the Only Authority

Adam was created first and Eve was created to be a “helper” for him (Genesis 2:18-20).  Because there was no sin, there was no authority for man to obey except God’s authority. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, sin entered the world, and then authority was needed. Therefore, God established authority to provide us with the protection we need. First, we need to submit to God, which is the only way we can truly obey Him, then 1 Corinthians 11:2-3 tells us that the husband is to submit to Christ as Christ did to God and the wife should follow his example and submit to her husband.

True wisdom is submitting to and obeying the authoritative Word of God, with the power of the Holy Spirit, of course. When we do this, we will live under the blessings of God and develop strong healthy homes.

 

 Beauty for Ashes

Gen3x – Helping wives of men who are involved in sexual sin 

Filed Under: Beauty For Ashes, Men, Uncategorized, Women Tagged With: Ephesians 5:23, husband has no authority, husband's bad choices, inferior to their husbands, strong healthy homes, under the thumb, wife to submit, win your husband

January 20, 2013 By Janice

Are you heavy hearted and crushed in spirit?

BEAUTY FOR ASHES – HELP FOR A HURTING WIFE

 

Day 1 – Are you heavy hearted and crushed in spirit? God promises a beautiful exchange

 

ISAIAH 61v3  to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

 

God Loves you and Will Never Break His Promises

beauty from ashes
beauty from ashes

Your Abba Father loves His children. He doesn’t want to see you, his precious daughter, hurt or mistreated in any way. I don’t know what your situation is, but because God has led you to this website, I believe it’s because your husband has been involved in pornography or some other sexual sin and whether you have just found out, or you have known for a while now, I know that you will be feeling betrayed, unwanted, let down, cheated, heavy-hearted and so much more.  This verse in Isaiah 61:3 is a promise TO YOU from God that He will transform you, and comfort you as you open your heart to Him and allow Him to have His way in you. God never breaks His promises, I know personally, because He has done all of the above for me and so much more! You will need to put your trust in Him, and allow Him to take control of every situation in your life.

 

A Little About Me

Unknown to me for the first 15 years of my marriage, and in fact, since a very young age, my husband was involved in pornography and the fruit of this was making him very angry and aggressive.  I cried out to God but I thought that He didn’t hear my cries.  I was ashen faced and heavy hearted, my spirit was crushed and grieving. We lived in a home full of strife, then my husband brought his secret out of the darkness and into the light and God has been doing a wonderful transformation ever since. God sent Jesus to set the captives free and my husband and I have both been set free from the prison Satan had us in.

 

 

God breaks the chains
God breaks the chains

I was a prisoner, bound in chains of hurt, bitterness, resentment, hatred, anger and so much more, but praise God, He has broken those chains and He set me free emotionally, physically and spiritually. He healed me of all my deepest hurts and brought me a peace which I could never have imagined possible.

Just like the above verse says, I am become like a tree – “they shall become trees of righteousness” with my roots well grounded. God has made me stronger and my once ashen face is glowing with joy, I am full of praise and thanks for what God has done instead of feeling heavyhearted and full of self-pity. Best of all, the Lord is being glorified for all He has done – “that He may be glorified”.  It’s my heart’s desire that, by the power of the Holy Spirit, you will experience the same transformation which I did so that God may be glorified!

 

Assurance in Jesus Christ

God has done just what He said He would do and I believe He has called me to walk this part of the journey with you and to use my experiences to help you recover from the pain you have been feeling and to become all that this verse says. God sent Jesus Christ to come to earth and die for you.  He has already purchased your complete healing with His blood. Now, the Comforter, the Holy Spirit will minister to you. He will Counsel you, help you, strengthen you and guide you.  The Holy Spirit knows exactly the right timing in your life, and the only One Who knows what it will take to help you.

You are not alone. So be patient, put your trust in God and He will help you! (Psalm 37:5)

You can email me at any time you wish.

 

Beauty for Ashes

Gen3x – Help for wives of men involved in pornography

 

 

 

Filed Under: Beauty For Ashes, Uncategorized, Women Tagged With: beauty for ashes, bound in chains, God never breaks His promises, heavyhearted and full of self pity, help for wives, home full of strife, husband involved in pornography, Isaiah 61:3

January 20, 2013 By Janice

How can you love a husband who has hurt you?

BEAUTY FOR ASHES- HELP FOR A HURTING WIFE

 

DAY 9 – How Can You Love a Husband Who Has Hurt You?

 

1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-7 – Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres 

 

Not Just a Few Words for the Wedding Day
Not Just a Few Words for the Wedding Day

Just A Few Appropriate Verses for the Wedding Day?

How many couples have heard these verses read out at wedding ceremonies?  Do we really take them in? These verses are not just for the wedding day, they’re for life. Of course, it’s a lot easier said than done. Thankfully, as Christians, we don’t have to do all the above on our own strength, once we have committed our lives to Jesus, He comes into us by the power of the Holy Spirit, and begins to change us from the inside out.  Old habits disappear – sometimes straight away, or sometimes over a period of time. God will give you the strength of character to love and bless those who have hurt you, if you let Him.

 

God Will Never Let You Down

Unfortunately, when we have been deeply hurt in the past we may be reluctant to allow Jesus to come to that area of pain because we feel that if we let Him in we shall become vulnerable to being hurt again. Especially if your husband has let you down time and time again.  What tends to happen is that we cover up the hurt with protective habits like defensiveness, withdrawing into isolation, becoming angry and bitter, putting up barriers; all of which prevent us from developing into the people God wants us to be.  When Jesus died on the cross He carried all our pain with Him, we need to allow Him into the hurt by forgiving our husbands, or indeed others, when they hurt us and allow the pain to be released to Jesus. From experience, I know this is a scary process because I had to learn how to trust when trust had been shattered in the past, but Jesus is totally trustworthy and will never let us down, no matter how our own husbands behave towards us.  The more we allow Him to take over in the hurting areas and bring about the changes He wants, the more like Him we will become.

 

More Surgery!

I had to allow Jesus to do a heart change within me, to put the kind of heart in me that was in God who sent Jesus to redeem and forgive a world full of despicable people including husbands who are unfaithful through pornography or have committed physical adultery which leads to lying, cheating, selfishness or aggression. The list goes on and on. Somehow God still loved the people of Israel who let Him down again and again. He doesn’t give up. He has a heart of love toward the loveless. That is what we need too.

 

Love Is Patient

It is in obedience to God that we are to love our husbands and we need to humble ourselves and choose to obey God in this, then the Holy Spirit will help us by pouring out a measure of God’s grace.  Love is a choice.  The Bible tells us to “Put on Love” Colossians 3:14. You need to put on love for your husband, even when you feel like you hate to even be in the same room as him!  If you feel tension mounting, say repeatedly to yourself “love is patient”,”love is patient”, “love is patient”, this helps to calm your emotions.  The more I did this and the more I renewed my mind, the easier it became.

So how do you do it?  Don’t wait for, or depend on, emotions of love, instead start with loving thoughts, then follow with actions of love, and emotions will follow later.

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Love Is Kind

You may feel that your husband doesn’t deserve your kindness right now, but again if you obey God and show kindness, He will honour and reward you for this.  When you feel your husband is being unkind towards you, find ways to work blessing into your thoughts. Speak a blessing out loud. When you are with friends, instead of complaining about your husband, go out of your way to speak well of him. When you find a way you can do something good for your husband, do it. Not to shame him – though it probably will – but because you are trying to find it in your own heart to love him for Jesus’ sake.

Kindness will draw your husband to you, but criticism and harshness will send him away.

Romans 2:4 says that “it is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance”.   Could this mean that if we show kindness to our unrepentant husbands,  we could lead them to repentance. How marvellous that would be!

 

It Keeps No Record of Wrongs

We can also show love to our husbands by not bringing up the past all the time.  Instead of being bitter and resentful, we should forgive our husbands, like Christ has forgiven us.  He was totally innocent, knew no sin, but He took all of our sins on His own body, so that we could go free.

Don't Allow the past to hold you down
Let Go!

When a thought comes into your head about your husband’s past, wondering what he did, how he did it, who he did it with, you need to fight back with the word of God.  I struggled a lot with this and I would imagine all sorts of things. I wanted to know all the details, but when I got them, I wished I had never asked!  So I decided to not ask any more, because God had forgiven and forgotten my husband’s past, then I knew that I should too.  It was one of the best decisions I ever made, because I no longer dwelt on all those thoughts and imaginations (true or false!) which would enter my head and cause me so much suspicion and bitterness and I was set free.

 

The devil wants to control your mind. These thoughts, if not dealt with, grow into strongholds and become active and you end up fighting with your husband or driving yourself up the walls.  It’s not worth it, what’s in the past is in the past and there’s nothing you can do or say to change events that have happened.  Don’t allow the devil to drag up the past and to drag you down and spoil your peace.  Instead, begin to pray and intercede for your husband.  Ask God to bless him and show mercy to him.  Again not to shame him but so you can find it in your heart to love him.  Ask God to help you, memorise scriptures and quote them when the devil tries to attack you.

 

Renew Your Mind

So to put on love you need to swap all those thoughts of the past for biblical thoughts, then this will progress into actions.  Love and warmth towards your husband will only begin after you have “renewed your mind” with kind and loving thoughts.

Try to memorize as many of these verses in 1 Corinthians as you can, or stick them up somewhere you can read them regularly.

Jesus said that the greatest commandment is to love one another, this includes a husband who has hurt and betrayed you.  Again, you may feel like he doesn’t deserve your love right now, but if you trust and obey God’s word, He will act and your reward will be great.

But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.  Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.  Luke 6:35,36

 

Beauty for Ashes

 Gen3x – Helping wives of men who are involved in sexual sin 

 

Filed Under: Beauty For Ashes, Uncategorized, Women Tagged With: appropriate verses for the wedding day, deeply hurt in the past, How can you love a husband who has hurt you, husband has let you down, Romans 2:4, strength of character to love and bless those who have hurt you, unfaithful through pornorgraphy, vulnerable to being hurt again

January 11, 2013 By girvan

Battle for the Mind

 Fix bayonets “We’re going over

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Your mind is the main area where pornography will wage the enemy’s war against your life. Whoever or whatever influences the mind controls the thoughts, actions and behaviour of that person. Your enemy has been watching you, probing you and testing you from birth to see where your weaknesses are, but more importantly to find out if you are really sold out to Christ.

– Don’t hand Satan an invitation –

Our adversary, Satan, doesn’t want you to grow spiritually. Spiritual growth in your life equals big trouble for his kingdom.  He knows that the knowledge of God’s word in your life and the power of the Holy Spirit is game over for him. Satan is not just seeking anyone to devour 1 Peter 5:8  he is looking for believers who have left an open door for him to enter either through offence, unforgiveness, bitterness, sexual immorality or whatever. He wants to be “lord” over the areas of your life that God can’t. Satan has been using the same method of attack from the beginning of time; he has no winning strategy, he knows whoever controls or manipulates the mind, will and emotions our intellect and understanding will control the person.  This is why he is quick to launch an all-out assault in the minds of believers he finds playing in his backyard.

Things that once entertained you privately, like your filthy, seedy thought life, the explicitness or perverseness of your dreams, now have you so bound up that you would rather walk away from Christ than confess your thoughts. The sad fact is that you are no longer in control; you have let your will, mind and emotions become the devil’s playground. How are you coping with sexual sins of the mind?  You know the ones that never get played out or talked about, the ones if anyone knew what was really being meditated on, you’d be shocked and they would be left wondering if you were really saved. Let me ask you, what do you do with your thoughts? And do they really matter?  Do the lustful thoughts that you dwell on affect anyone around you or is this sin a private matter?

Men, God will not be mocked. He will not allow his Holy Spirit to be subjected to your filthy lifestyle choices. The time will come when you will give God no choice but to pull his presence away from your live and to surrender you over to the power of the enemy. Romans 1 28, And since they did not see fit to acknowledge god,God give them over to a debased mind. A debased mind, a reprobate mind, a condemned mind, a foolish mind, a sinful mind, a corrupted mind, a defective mind these are all descriptions that you will find in other bibles. Even if you don’t understand each definition you can work out what they all relate to. That pornography can lead to mental illness. When you have those images 24/7 bombarding your thought life tormenting your mind you are no longer mental normal. God gives us a sound mind, 2 Tim 1 7 for God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  Satan gives us a depraved mind Romans 1 29-31 Being filled with all un righteousness, fornication, wickedness,covetousness,maliciousness,full of envy,murder,deceit, malignity,whispers, 30 Backbiters,haters of God,despiteful,proud,boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents. As we start to unpack this , I hope you can see how wicked and controlling pornography really is.

– Eye’s front solider –

The first look you can’t help, the second look you’ve given notice to the enemy and handed him a landing pad, which he quickly turns into a stronghold over your life.  So are you taking every thought Captive? Every fiery arrow that you refuse to distinguish, a little bit of your spirit dies on the inside.  Now these arrows don’t come with rubber suckers on the end, they’re designed to wound or to kill.  They are like armour piercing rounds the military use, once they pierce the mind, they explode on the inside of your life with their full destructive force, Satan’s out to destroy you and he’s using pornography to wage his war against your life. He wants to manipulate you, he wants to control you.  Let’s face it guys, for the man who hasn’t been a good steward in the area of sexual purity?  Satan is tormenting you day and night. As you linger over these images and jerk off to your fantasies, you have given power to them.  Satan has achieved his goal, he has convinced you that he isn’t on your case and now you feel dirty, guilty and condemned as if God can’t use you anymore.

If you, as a Christian man, clicks on a porn web site, watches a blue movie or anything related you are no different from an Israelite walking into his sex worship with a Moabite woman Who gets your Worship you have wilfully walked into territory that is completely forbidden to you, strictly out of bounds A NO GO AREA. You have made a wilful decision to disobey God and now Jesus has to respect your decision and can’t go in there after you. You have taken off your spiritual armour Eph 6 and have left yourself vulnerable for attack. You have step away from the source of your spiritual covering and now the demonic have been handed the legal rights to attack and torment you usually with the same obscene images and dirty thoughts that you have entertained.  Those imagines that are in front of the mind constantly 24/7, never ending tormenting you day and night. It wouldn’t matter if you never looked at pornography again because of your lustful desire, you have taken so much in that you can recall in the hard drive of your memory every image that you have ever watched. Now there is no off switch and you cannot stop the images; this is a most dangerous position to be in, when you are no longer able to control what images are coming into your mind, because of your repeated behaviour you have opened up the gate way of your mind to the demonic.

–  Where’s your protection Son?-  

This will probably go on for weeks, months and even years to come, unless you do something to stop it. Check out The Quitters check-list for help with this. Unclean spirits don’t have bodies, but through pornography you have made it easy for them to oppress and torment you. This means that you are responsible for your own failure or success in following God.  2 Peter 2:14-15 forsaking the straight road they have gone astray.  Now the tendency of the flesh is to blame personal failure on someone else or some external circumstance, but you can’t even shift the blame for your failure to demonic attack. In order for that demonic attack to work you had to cooperate in some way either through ignorance, through deliberate cooperation or through negligence by refusing to deal with an unseen private area of your life.

You can whine all day that the devil is attacking your finances, but if you haven’t been paying your bills or taxes and claiming what you aren’t entitled to, being irresponsible or squandering your money foolishly, you have opened the door to financial attack.

You can moan that your marriage is under attack also, but if you have often spoken harshly to your wife, never spending anytime with her or have not made marriage a priority in your life, you have thrown open the door for the enemy to come in and destroy your marriage.

So if you have been spending your free time worshipping at the altar of filth meditating on pornography instead of indulging in the Word of God, you yourself have invited these unclean spirits in to torment you.  Matt 6: 22 The eye is the lamp of the body, so if your eye is healthy your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad your whole body will be full of darkness If then the light in you is darkness  how great is that darkness?

Because of your rebellious behaviour you have given the enemy a foothold and upon that he has built a strong hold. Most believers who have fallen would not have fallen if they had not given the devil a foothold into their minds.  You can shout at the devil all day long and plead to God for mercy, but if you have wilfully permitted some area of your mind to go unchecked and unguarded, if you are aware of an area of sin but have not being willing to deal with it you have opened that door yourself for attack. “James 1 14 but each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires”

– Your enemy is a legalist –

If he can locate an area of your life that hasn’t been submitted to the Lordship of Jesus Christ he will come in and claim his rights and give his blessings to the areas of your life that Jesus is not Lord over; the truth is, the devil’s attacks against our lives wouldn’t work if our flesh didn’t cooperate.

God has not left us defenceless against our enemy. Your battle is a great opportunity to get right again with God. Every attack you experience is an opportunity to invite the Lord back in.  You must draw your spiritual weaponry from Him, He alone is your source, not a book a program a course a deliverance ministry or internet filter. Although Jesus was surrounded by friends and family, His battle at Calvary was isolated and invisible – your battle will be isolated and invisible also, nobody will fully understand what you are going through and you probably won’t be able to fully explain what you are experiencing either.  Your church and friends will give accountability and encouragement which is great, but this isn’t enough to fight a spiritual battle.  You will need the full spiritual armour of God. Because this armour is from God it is vital that you remain in an unbroken, ongoing fellowship with God. This is your absolute guarantee that you will be constantly dressed against every attack, He will never let you go out half naked or exposed to the enemy.  It’s a matter of fully clothed or totally naked, there are no half measures with your spiritual armour. You are literally, dressed to kill when you are wearing your armour, Satan may still have a go but he will never be able to defeat you.       Battle for the Mind prayer click here

Are you Dressed to Kill? because your ultimate victory will depend on you taking every thought captive. Wielding the sword of truth against the lies of the enemy. Standing firm on the truth of scripture. Praying in the spirit. Strengthening your faith and listening to what God has to say. This battle can be won and it will be won by taking captive one thought at a time, making one decision at a time and trusting God one day at a time. Real deliverance from pornography comes when God allows you to see it through His eyes of truth. As He renews your mind with His word He exposes the lies of pornography for what they are and basically it isn’t fun anymore.

 

Gen 3x– Helping you to beat Pornography

“Hear, O Israel, Ye Approach This Day Unto Battle Against Your Enemies: Let Not Your Hearts Faint, Fear Not, And Do Not Tremble, Neither Be Ye Terrified Because Of Them. “Deuteronomy 20v3

A great book that I have read is Dressed to Kill by Rick Renner if you are serious about remaining free and learning how to use the Armour of God this book is a must read.

Filed Under: Get The Facts, Men, Uncategorized Tagged With: Armour of God, battle for the mind, fix bayonets, indulging in the word of God, lies of pornography, meditating on pornography, plead to God for mercy, pornography will wage the enemies war

December 20, 2012 By girvan

Is the Church alive? prayer

Father, I thank you that I am joined to the body of Christ, but I am far from spotless and without blemish, Father, I acknowledge the heroes of faith who have shepherded the Church to where it is today, but Lord we need now more than ever the power of the Holy Spirit to rush through like a mighty wind as it did in the Day of Pentecost, filling lives again with new life and new hope in these last dark days, set before us again Your standard bearer that we may follow with confidence. The enemy has come upon us like a flood and attacks are coming from all sides and we are lost in our own understanding. The Church is no longer respected as it once was and now seems to be a laughing stock to those who do not know it. Lord may you find us hot and active on your return and pleased with what we have been entrusted with  When one part of the body hurts, we all suffer, so show us Holy Spirit how to deal best with the sexually broken among us. Lord grant us courage and grant us hope for You are all we have. I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen

 

Gen3x – Fighting Pornography Together

“Hear, O Israel, Ye Approach This Day Unto Battle Against Your Enemies: Let Not Your Hearts Faint, Fear Not, And Do Not Tremble, Neither Be Ye Terrified Because Of Them. “Deuteronomy 20v3

 

 

 

Filed Under: Men, Prayer, Uncategorized Tagged With: attacks are coming from allsides, Church is no longer respected, Day of Pentecost, filling lives again with new life and new hope, Lord grant us courage and grant us hope, the enemy has come in like a flood

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