Hey Kids let’s talk about Porn!

As a parent I have listened to so many other Christian parents panicking and worrying about how they are going to approach the topic of internet pornography with their kids. When the fact of the matter is that talking to your kids about pornography, masturbation, and sexual immorality shouldn’t be any harder than talking to them about the weather, school work, sport or whatever else arises and here’s why:

– not on my watch –

As parents, we are the ones charged with teaching our children, not the world, the media or even the internet. It’s our responsibility to counter-act the lies and ungodly influences and carry the fight back to the enemy through education and scripture. We are their first line of defence, not the church or an internet filter. If your child was drowning, you wouldn’t wait until Sunday to get the Sunday school teacher to come and rescue them for you. No!  You would jump into that river to pull out your drowning child even if you couldn’t swim.  You wouldn’t encourage them to walk into a burning building either.  So why are we happy to pass the buck and passively sit back and watch as their spirit drowns in a sea of filth and their soul burns in hell? The bible is very clear on how we should bring up our children. Proverbs has every situation on how to train up a child covered, including pornography (Proverbs 6-7).

Unfortunately, because of the society that we live in today, parents are either too busy, too tired, or not capable of teaching their kids right from wrong. The church has done a great job with Sunday schools and has stood in to fill the gap.  However, nowhere in the bible will you see the instruction to pack your kids off to Sunday school/youth fellowship to have them taught by people who aren’t much older than they are, with little or no experience of life.  Training begins at home.

– So where do we begin? –

If you have ever listened to Ken Ham from www.answersingenesis.org, you will know Genesis is the place to start. Here we have Adam & Eve who were in the garden, totally naked and they were not ashamed Gen 2:25. Shortly afterwards everything went pear shaped as sin entered and spoiled it for everyone. So many parents miss this point and jump straight in, feet first, with the “ Don’t be looking at that”,  “Don’t let me catch you watching that filth” with an attitude to match, thumping out a hard disciplined message, rather than explaining God’s ideal plan for sex between a married couple and the respect that comes with it. God created it, the world has abused it, and Christians are embarrassed by it.

The reason we adults struggle with this topic is that we probably struggle with the Lordship of Jesus in this area ourselves. But, hey, don’t be too worried about the responsibility that you have, there’s another source out there that will fill in the missing blanks, correct the myths that they have and give them an education second to none when it comes to sex! The internet. The world and society will win by default because it is always talking about sex and addressing the issue as it sees fit, basically unchecked and unchallenged. What voice has the church in this area?  Sex was created to be enjoyed through marriage, so we are the ambassadors.  We should be the voice of reason not the pornography industry. Unfortunately pornography has done a good job, in fact, a great job in repackaging/re-branding and promoting sex. Pornography now seems to be today’s measuring stick that says what you need to look like, be like, and behave like to be happy, satisfied and fulfilled.  Nearly everything that the world has to offer outside of marriage has become distorted and corrupt.

The first exposure to pornography is 8-10 years for boys and 10-12 for girls, the largest consumer of internet pornography is the 12-17 year olds. The adult industry says that children make up to 30% of all internet porn traffic, so the earlier you start the Porn Talk the better. Kids have nothing to learn about the internet, most of them are actually teaching their parents.  If it can be searched on-line they’ve probably been there already and are wearing the tee-shirt, you know the one with the bunny print that says” I got this free with my two hundredth download”. Its going to take more than crossing your fingers and wishful thinking to get your children through today’s sex-crazed society.

You are the parent, you will know when your child will be ready to hear this out, but remember, there should be a united front in the home from both parents explaining this talk, so they get to hear an even balance and hopefully feel free to speak to either parent at later dates.  Please use and share the following template to talk to your kids. Expand on this Porn Talk essay and make it as personal as you need to best suit your situation.

– Parents it’s your turn, here it goes! –

“What I’m about to speak about, I would like you to listen to very carefully.  I don’t want to see you make wrong mistakes, your best interests are my only concern. I hope this will save you so much trouble later. We are living in an ungodly environment where everything that God made good has been spoiled and defiled. God’s perfect gift of sex between husband and wife has been made cheap and dirty. Pornography, music videos, advertising, films and everything sexual seems to be the tactic that the enemy is using to lead people astray from God’s best.  Pornography is now everywhere and I’m sure it hasn’t escaped your attention. This is an industry that is fuelled on greed, broken lives, trafficking, wickedness and brutality against women. It’s an industry that thrives on never satisfying the customer and will lead you on a road to ruin. Pornography will appeal to you like nothing else, promising untold pleasures, those seeking to fulfil your every desire – but I need to warn you about the hidden danger that it covers over.

These people aren’t having fun, the sex they portray isn’t safe, and the lives they live aren’t cool. Sure, they look good, but money can buy any look you want. If the girls involved knew what true joy was, they wouldn’t be selling their bodies for it. I want nothing more for you than to live and enjoy a life that is free from all slavery, but the sad fact is that pornography is a trap – it’s a form of bondage, on a power equal to drugs.(see Satan’s bait for a more complete list) Pornography is created for one purpose and one purpose only and that is to implant into your mind ungodly imagines/scenarios thoughts of perverted sex that will encourage you to defile the marriage bed, your spouse and yourself in front of God. That, in fact you have secretly introduced Baal-Peor/Satan worship into the bedroom and turned a safe sanctuary into a demonic shrine.

There are so many men and women caught up in it’s trap and they have no idea who they are worshiping and can’t seem to break free.  Pornography plays with the mind so much that you’ll have no rest from it. Your mind will be tormented day and night, every woman that you meet will leave you with a distorted view, and every situation will lead your mind into an ungodly scenario because that’s how it works. It wants to own you, to control how you think and act, it takes the innocence that God created and completely destroys it. The thing that nobody tells you about pornography is when it gets in there, it drives you, controls you and prompts you to go further than you were prepared to go.

In effect, you have surrendered your free will to this monster. Think of pornography as a hunger that is never satisfied, once it rises up there is no rest until it’s fed and it doesn’t care about the hurt and ruin it leaves behind as it ransacks for more. Men and women in pornography are out to seduce you, want you to believe that all they want and need is you, but really all they want is a job to supply their next fix.  A lot of the girls in pornography are addicts – that’s what helps them to get through what they do. Porn, stripping, dancing, modelling is simply paying the bills.  Your money and passive support is keeping this industry fuelled and these girls in chains. So please think carefully about what I have told you and don’t allow yourself to be drawn into this trap”.

1. Once you have the Talk, follow up and keep the conversation fresh with offers of encouragement and support.  Neverlet the fire go out on this topic.
2. Reassure them that you are always there to talk anytime they want.
3. Offer to be an accountability partner, make a date once a week, and give encouragement daily.
4. Don’t be embarrassed to pray with them and get them to pray for you as well.
5. Open up to your own struggles – let them know that you are real and this was an issue for you too.
6. Internet Pornography is so aggressive that we can no longer trust anyone, anything, or any site.  We need to step up to the mark and do this for the next generation.
7. Be a support partner to other nervous parents.
8. Offer to help out single parents with kids of the opposite sex.

This is our watch, our time, our kids, our generation, we must leave this society a better place for the next generation. click here for Porn Talk prayer

Gen 3x – Fighting Pornography Addiction

“Hear, O Israel, Ye Approach This Day Unto Battle Against Your Enemies: Let Not Your Hearts Faint, Fear Not, And Do Not Tremble, Neither Be Ye Terrified Because Of Them. “Deuteronomy 20v3