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Fruits of the Spirit – Peace

If this 3rd fruit of the spirit was more evident in marriage, the fabric of families would not be so easily torn apart by the peace-thief who causes conflict daily through things like parenting, money, sex, personality differences, unconfessed sin, stress, frustration and so much more. So many couples are hurting deeply because they have not yet learned how to find and apply God’s peace to their marriage.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God.” Matthew 5:9

Unfortunately too many couples are intent on being peacekeepers instead of being peacemakers. So many times I’ve heard the saying “The least said, the easier mended”, which can be good advice when we are feeling angry and bitter. At these times we are better to speak less and think more until we have calmed down because we cannot take back hurtful words spoken in anger.

However, God tells us we are to “declare…all the counsel of God” Acts 20:27 and to “do so in love” Eph 4:15.  This means we have to speak up, in love, to our spouses, and tell them everything God wants them to know as revealed in His will, and to do so in love.

I was once a “peacekeeper” instead of a “peacemaker” because I would smooth things over in order to avoid conflict.  I hoped difficult conversations would just go away, I avoided all confrontation. Unfortunately, because I was like this, I would allow things to build up inside me which then caused a lack of peace and eventually turn into bitterness and inner anger. What I achieved was a temporary cover up but not true peace.

peace

A peacemaker, however, will work through the problem, confronting the issue until a resolve or compromise is achieved. In order to be a peacemaker, we need to continually yield to God’s Spirit as a result of our relationship with Jesus. So when there is stress, frustration, tension, trouble arising in your marriage, you need to choose to bring it to God first in prayer. Sometimes a quick, “God, help me and give me peace by your Spirit.” is all we may have time for and as you whisper that prayer, God will give you what you need in that heated moment. Talk to Him right now for transformation in your marriage, tell Him those things that are causing conflict and ask Him to help you, as you do so, you are allowing the Holy Spirit to strengthen you with God’s peace.

“To be spiritually minded is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6)

Remember how Jesus could sleep through a storm, totally trusting in God. Peace is a calm state of mind, resting in God’s care, not upset by the chaos around us. Jesus told us that the world offers no real peace because it is ruled by the god of this world, Satan. Only an intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ can bring real peace. “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27)

It is essential to stay focused on God and the truth of His Word, trusting Him. “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” (Isaiah 26:3)

Keep trusting Him and you will have peace which transcends all understanding. Philippians 4:6-7

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Fruits of the Spirit – Joy!

Do you remember that little Sunday School Chorus?joyful child

I’ve got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart

Where?

down in my heart

Where?

down in my heart!

I’ve got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart, down in my heart to stay!

It’s so easy to sing that as a child, with none of the cares of the world on our shoulders, but as we get older, it is not so easy to sing those words through heart breaks and trials and really mean them.  Wouldn’t it be amazing to be full of joy in a world which is fearful, full of worry and discouragement.

In John 15v11, Jesus said to His disciples, “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full”

Being joyful, is not the same as being happy, because happiness is an emotion and God does not want us to live by our emotions all the time.  True joy comes from being in an intimate relationship with your Abba Father. He is the channel through which all the fruits are given, and when we abide in Him, we will produce pure joy.  Jesus says in John 15:5 –  “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit”  – this includes “full joy”, it is the second on the list of the fruits of the spirit.

In the Bible, (KJV) “joy” appears 158 times. God loves a joyful heart. So many of us have looked on God as being very serious, judgemental, solemn and even angry. Many religious people are like this and go around with serious faces all the time.  However, supreme joy is God’s nature and character!  It is everywhere we turn around, birds singing in the trees, new born lambs leaping in the fields, beautiful flowers blossoming, streams trickling and even the rays of sunshine, or the colourful rainbow when it rains!  God “gives us richly all things to enjoy” 1 Timothy 6:17

JoyThe word “rejoice” also appears 198 times in the KJV of the Bible, which means to feel or have joy. Philippians 4:4 says “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!”  

Because we have Jesus as our rock, joy will continue to flow through us even during suffering, because we know this is limited to our short lives and soon “there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying” Revelation 21:4.  

So, “Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven” Matthew 5:11-12

As Christians, we have much to be joyful for, we are sons and daughters of the King of Kings, we are going to live with Him for eternity.  So I urge you, when you are feeling low or like no-one cares, as a little child, go to your Daddy who waits for you with arms wide open, then  “Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full!”  John 16:24

I pray that your “joy may be full” in every circumstance.

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Love: The First Fruit of the Spirit.

 

True love
This is true love!

What is love?  The first thought that comes into my head is “God is Love”. God loved you so much that He sent Jesus to suffer and die on the cross just so you can say “this is what Love does”.  He was an innocent, sinless man who willingly suffered, even for the JOY that was set before Him (such love!), in enduring the cross in order to pay a debt that we could not pay and when we choose to believe in Him, we become His son or His daughter and because of this relationship, we can call out “Abba Father” and He will help us in every situation.

We will live with “Love” for eternity.

 

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. GOD IS LOVE. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him” (1 John 4:16)

When I look at all the fruits of the Spirit, and compare these to love, I would say ‘love’ is more like the branches of the tree, because it is the channel through which all of the fruits are given.

Love is not a feeling or an emotion and is not just about the way your spouse ‘makes’ you feel. Love is a conscious choice. Love is a commitment to giving, even though you may think he or she does not deserve it, without expecting anything in return. Remember when you made your vows to God on your wedding day, you promised to “love” until death. This is what I would call a supernatural kind of love coming only from God!  He will give you this kind of love for your spouse by the power of His Spirit (Romans 5:5). “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us”.

It is up to you to ‘give’ the fruits of the Spirit to your spouse, these sweet fruits should flow from you by the power of the Holy Spirit for your husband/wife to enjoy.  King Solomon says in the Bible: “The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life” (Proverbs 11:30). So could this mean that as you pour out love on your spouse, you are giving life to him/her?

Who needs a dictionary to define what love is? 1 Corinthians 13 4-8 says it all: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails”

 

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The Fruits of the Spirit

In the Bible, God makes many references as to how we should be like trees, standing strong and firm, with our roots going deep, being nourished and well fed with His word.  He wants us to flourish and produce good fruit. He wants others to be able to look at us and see us stand tall through the storms of life and to be drawn to us when they see the evidence of the Spirit within us through the fruit we produce.  These qualities should be evident first and foremost in our marriages.

fruit of the spirit

I believe every married couple needs to apply the fruits of the Spirit to their marriage. We all love to bite into a big, juicy, sweet piece of fruit!!  So, when you taste your marriage, is it sweet or bitter? I’m sure all of us want our marriages to be sweeter and God has told us in Galatians 5:22,23 all the qualities we need to do so.

But before we look at the first fruit of the Spirit, we need to unlock and open the door to these wonderful fruits and the way to do this is through repentance. Repentance means we have to do a complete turn around and go the other way.  In order to do this, you need to have a totally conquered and yielded mind. Selfish desires must go completely, because one of the biggest destroyers of happiness in a marriage is selfishness.

With the help of the Holy Spirit, you will be able to turn your marriage around from right now and make it taste sweet instead of bitter. Galatians 5 verse 16 says: “Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh”.

Remember to satisfy your husband/wife with good fruit by giving instead of always taking. Sweeten your marriage with the fruits of God’s Holy Spirit.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law

With God’s help, I aim to cover each of these lovely fruits over the next few weeks and I would be honoured if you come with me and taste what God has in store for us!

 

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Encourage each other!

It is so important for husbands and wives to encourage each other and to build each other up.

Men, because you’ve been involved with pornography, believe me, your wife will be feeling unloved, betrayed and very hurt. You need to earn her trust back again, prove to her it is all in the past, ask her forgiveness, tell her you love her, that she is the most precious, beautiful woman on earth.  You need to not just tell her once, but daily, start off each day saying “I love you”, help her get back her confidence.  It really hurts to discover your husband has been lusting after other women, even if it’s “just an image”, it’s hard to take in why he would rather watch porn than go to her.  She will be asking herself many questions, wondering was she not good enough, too ugly, too fat, too thin or just plain boring.  Help her feel beautiful once more.

And ladies, if your husband is truly repentant, and has set his mind to give up pornography, you need to let him know how proud you are of him.  He needs your help and support more than ever.  I know you are hurting and I know that what has happened was very unfair, but in order to move on, you need to let it all go and start afresh.  God says to forget the past and allow Him to do a new thing.  So speak words of affirmation to your husband. It is important for him to know you’ve forgiven him, that you love and cherish him.

His and Hers 2

 

I found this picture and although it’s meant to be humorous, I felt a pang of sadness, because with some couples it can be a reality, so don’t allow time to drift past until you find yourself like this old couple!

 

Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11