Gen3x

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The Quitters check-list

What’s hindering you from running your race?

Here is a checklist to help you destroy all sources of porn in your life. The effectiveness of this check list depends on your actions and wiliness to succeed.

Sexual immorality is idolatry. “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry” col. 3:5.

How are we to treat idols? “This is what you are to do to them: Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones, cut down their Asherah poles, and burn their idols in the fire” Deut. 7:5.

– Are you ready to start? – Good –

  • Tell someone that you intend to destroy all sources of, and access to, your pornography, and to take serious preventative measures. Share your plan with this person and ask this person to follow up on your plan. We recommend sharing with another man in whom it is safe to confide. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another”  27v17. You may also wish to confide in a Pastor. Remember that you are not alone. This is a very widespread struggle and there is help available!
  • With complete reckless abandon, scour your house and DESTROY all porn. (This means actual destruction as in DESTROYED. It does not mean giving it to your buddies or friends or leaving it so someone else can find it, even by accident at the dump. Many men have stumbled across pornography after someone else got rid of without completely destroying it.)
  • Choose a destruction method so the materials can no longer be used for their intended purpose, and cannot be repaired. Paper shredders are now relatively inexpensive and can be purchased at office supply stores. If you have a fireplace, you can burn them. Use caution if you are burning VCR tapes, or anything toxic. You need to breathe fresh air. Make sure you have good ventilation and your flue is open so you don’t smoke up your home.

– Take these same actions if you store porn in storage or somewhere else other than your home –

  • Destroy credit cards that facilitate the use of pornography
  • Destroy video rental cards
  • Destroy photos that remind you of encounters.
  • Destroy business cards that remind you of a past you wish to leave.
  • Cut off your access to those people that you have been in affairs and unhealthy relationships with.
  • Destroy the following items in your home or outside your home
  • Magazines
  • VCR tapes
  • DVD’s (break with a hammer, or scratch repeatedly with 25 grit sandpaper)
  • Burn printed images of any kind
  • Books that support sinful behaviour of any sort – tear up by the spine of the book.
  • Posters – shred into pieces
  • Sex toys (if this applies).
  • Lust-inducing magazines (Maxim, Nuts, Zoo, FHM, etc)
  • All swimsuit and lingerie pictures, catalogues, and magazines.
  • Written materials or written records of websites or sources where you have found porn.
  • Clothes that support or promote the pornography, that have graphic pictures, words, etc., or other features that do not help you.
  • Personal items that remind you of a life that you wish to leave.
  • Other items not listed here that support your habit:
  • Note that you morally cannot throw out something that belongs to someone else. If your wife has lingerie catalogues, you can ask her to get rid of them or keep them out of sight. If you have a roommate that keeps porn and doesn’t want to give it up, you can (and almost certainly should) move out.

– Now, for your computer and computer related activity apply the following steps: –

  • Take your computer and put it in FULL VIEW in the most occupied place in your home!!! (Pornography thrives in the dark – Get your computer out of the shadows!)
  • Go through your computer completely and destroy all pornographic or lustful images you have saved. DO NOT back up these files – erase them
  • Use a good software program to scrub your computer’s hard drive of all pornographic image.
  • Delete bookmarks to porn sites and all inappropriate web sites. (These are listed as “Favourites” in Microsoft Internet Explorer and as “Bookmarks” in Netscape Navigator and Mozilla Firefox.) Delete all references to pornography.
  • Delete any websites you have created.
  • Delete all accounts to pornographic web sites
  • Delete all inappropriate online computer subscriptions
  • Delete all inappropriate email addresses from your computer or online email
  • Delete email accounts you used to receive questionable material
  • Remove yourself from inappropriate e-mail lists. If you cannot get out of them, change your e-mail address
  • Delete computer screen savers with lustful images or inappropriate materials
  • Delete inappropriate backgrounds (the picture(s) your computer has at the desktop).
  • Delete all software that supports your habit in any fashion whatsoever, including archiving software or scan-inventory software
  • Reformat all external disk drives where you have stored pornographic/lustful images. (This includes external hard drives, thumb drives, zip disks, floppy disks, etc.)
  • Destroy computer CD’s and DVD’s
  • Destroy or reformat any other electronic storage media containing pornographic or lustful images
  • Delete any files containing records of websites or sources where you have found porn
  • Now cut off access to pornographic images over the internet:
  • Also do not delude yourself by thinking you can view “safer” images or web sites. There is no such thing as a “safer” site. You must admit that you are deluding yourself with these “safer sites,” so you and you alone have the responsibility to do something about this little sneaky/peaky game that leads you to something worse. This is like an alcoholic saying “I won’t drink, I’ll just lick the outside of this glass of rum.
  • Remove Cable TV channels that show “adult” movies (Satellite , etc.) Or if your family must have these channels, use the blocking feature to remove access to porn. Let someone else have the password.

– don’t let up! Keep up the pressure –

  • Call your phone company and place a block.
  • End magazine subscriptions that fuel your slavery.
  • End subscriptions to all inappropriate material including
  • Magazines
  • Movies and videos
  • Catalogues that are inappropriate for you. (Yes, including Ann Summers, Victoria’s Secret.)
  • Books and any other material that fuel your slavery.
  • Remove bumper stickers on your cars that remind you of a lifestyle you wish to leave behind
  • Replace the car-scent thing that hangs in your car with one without graphic pictures
  • Remove all the images from your locker at the gym
  • Change your dining and entertainment routines so that you are not exposed to temptation. (This can mean different things for different people.)
  • If you have let pornography replace your wife, restore yourself with your wife and do whatever is necessary to end the wrong relationship. Get guidance from a pastor or close friend who has a lot of integrity
  • When staying at hotels, tell the front desk to authorize the adult channels or ask them to remove the television from the room.
  • When travelling, cut off access to internet service unless expressly required for your work. (Try to arrange for filtered internet or accountability in some form.)
  • When travelling, make arrangements with your wife or a friend with integrity and call when you arrive at the hotel. Let them know you are not going to the wrong places. Be honest
  • Only take with you enough money for travel or lunch and keep all receipts to show to your wife or friends, hand over all your credit/ visa cards you will get them when needed
  • Change your route home from work if it involves going past red light areas or places where you may be tempted
  • Make a commitment NOT TO RETURN to your past
  • Maintain this by finding someone to be accountable to so that you will not slip back to old ways.
  • LASTLY, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY – Develop a spiritual hunger for God – the closer you draw to God, the less and less you will want porn.

The above list is a very proactive way of staying ahead of the things that will cause you to fall. Simply following this list will help you in your daily struggle to crucify the flesh, which in turn will free you to concentrate on the Battle for the mind, for more help also check out Dressed to kill.  click here for The Quitters check-list prayer

 

Gen 3x – Encouraging Believers to Quit Pornography

“Hear, O Israel, Ye Approach This Day Unto Battle Against Your Enemies: Let Not Your Hearts Faint, Fear Not, And Do Not Tremble, Neither Be Ye Terrified Because Of Them. “Deuteronomy 20v3

 

 

 

 

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Repentance prayer

   David’s Prayer of Repentance

Psalm 51 is probably the most popular prayer of repentance in the Bible.  This Psalm was written after David committed adultery with Bathsheba. You may or may not have committed physical adultery, but if you have been watching pornography, you have most certainly committed spiritual adultery Matthew 5:28. Use this Psalm as a model or make up your own personal heart felt prayer of repentance towards a gracious and forgiving God.

 

Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy loving kindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.

Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.

Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. 

Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 

Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.

O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.

For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.

Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar

 

Gen3x – Fighting Pornography Together

“Hear, O Israel, Ye Approach This Day Unto Battle Against Your Enemies: Let Not Your Hearts Faint, Fear Not, And Do Not Tremble, Neither Be Ye Terrified Because Of Them. “Deuteronomy 20v3

 

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Be the man prayer

 

Lord, I thank you that there is more grace in Your heart than there is sin in my past. Although I have made my share of bad decisions, I know that you can forgive my past and cover my mistakes so that it will no longer separate me from your fellowship and holiness.

I take full responsibility for my actions, the hurt and pain and grief that I have caused to everybody through my involvement in pornography/ adultery/ immorality and I ask for your forgiveness from all of this. Lord release your peace and comfort to those who are still hurting and teach me how to be a new man even if it means breaking me, I hand to you Lord my permission to do whatever it takes to be the man my family needs me to be, the man who You died for me to be. Father I bring nothing to You but my great need for change. I acknowledge that You only have my best interests at heart and I fully trust You in the process that I must go through. Thank you Lord for blessing my marriage, my wife and my children. I count on Your grace and favour in this matter in Jesus’ name  Amen

Gen3x – Fighting Pornography Together

“Hear, O Israel, Ye Approach This Day Unto Battle Against Your Enemies: Let Not Your Hearts Faint, Fear Not, And Do Not Tremble, Neither Be Ye Terrified Because Of Them. “Deuteronomy 20v3

 

 

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God is bigger than your mistakes

 Repentance

What was the biggest mistake you ever made? No matter how badly you think you’ve blown it, others have made bigger mistakes and the Bible is a testimony to that. Think what David, Job, Isaiah, Peter and the Prodigal son all did. Repentance from sin is not a matter of lip service, a onetime deal or a casual attitude. Sin has no limits, so that means it’s a daily walk turning away completely from our old nature each and every day.

 

– Repentance is not about you –

Everyone who was restored in the bible was conscious with how they had grieved the Father’s heart and in turn felt the sorrow of a sinful nature that offends a holy God. The understanding and knowledge of repentance releases the gift of fruit in our lives.

If you have truly repented from your behaviour, God’s grace will cover up all your weaknesses 2 Cor 12:9 and bad decisions. God is bigger than your greatest mistakes, bigger than your foolishness, bigger than your sins, bigger than the messes you have left along the road which you have chosen up to now. Repentance isn’t just a matter of turning away from sin, it also involves a change of mind that results in a change of action.

Evangelist Lester Roloff puts it like this, “Real repentance is putting your trust in Jesus Christ so you will not live like that anymore. Departing from a sinful lifestyle is a matter of appreciation for what the Lord has done for us obeying God as His children and not as a condition of saving faith”.

Charles Spurgeon – “Just now some professedly Christian teachers are misleading many by saying that ‘repentance is only a change of mind.’ It is true that the original word does convey the idea of a change of mind; but the whole teaching of Scripture concerning the repentance which is not to be repented of is that it is a much more radical and complete change than is implied by our common phrase about changing one’s mind. The repentance that does not include sincere sorrow for sin is not the saving grace that is wrought by the Holy Spirit. God-given repentance makes men grieve in their inmost souls over the sin they have committed, and works in them a gracious hatred of evil in every shape and form. ‘Repentance is to leave the sin we loved before, and show that we in earnest grieve by doing so no more’”

– Worldly sorrow vs Godly sorrow –

Have you ever noticed that those who have truly repented and received complete forgiveness are usually open and forthright about their past sin?     They are the men and women who have experienced the gift of repentance and worked it into their lifestyle. They are the ones who can stand up unashamed and publicly share the testimonies of their lives as alcoholics, adulterers, thieves, drug addicts, murderers etc, they have the right to boast about how they once lived and the joy to proclaim how they now live through the transforming power and grace of Jesus Christ. No confession would be credible without true repentance.  Repentance is the recognition of your sinfulness towards God. Repentance is not throwing a pity party after being found out for what you were up to and running around trying to look all meek and humble, that equals worldly sorrow or poor me. Godly sorrow is not wanting God to suffer while He watches as you continually indulge in a rebellious lifestyle.  click here for Repentance prayer

 

 Repentance is a gift from God 2 Timothy 2 25,  God leads you to repentance Romans 2v4,  Repentance bears fruit Matthew 3:8,  God is watching and waiting for repentance Luke 15,  Repentance brings recovery Matthew 7v5,  Repentance brings restoration Job 42

Gen 3x – Helping Christian’s Overcome Pornography

“Hear, O Israel, Ye Approach This Day Unto Battle Against Your Enemies: Let Not Your Hearts Faint, Fear Not, And Do Not Tremble, Neither Be Ye Terrified Because Of Them. “Deuteronomy 20v3

 

 

 

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Do you have what it takes to be the man?

Do you have what it takes?

 

Question:  How do you put the trust and harmony back into the family home and marriage after your lured lifestyle has come to light?

Answer:  YOU DON’T!  You couldn’t muster up the power/guts to stop viewing pornography in the first place, so what makes you think that you can put it all together again?

– Pornography will never replace your wife –

When you eventually find yourself in this situation and you will, either through confession or exposure, you will want to limit the damage and do what you think is best for everybody involved. This is where a steep learning curve comes into your life whether you like it or not. As we have learned already, submission to Jesus, confession to those whom we have hurt through pornography and repentance to God, are the first steps in a long healing process – and how long is the process? Well that depends on you, it depends on how much of you, you are willing to sacrifice and hand over to God. He can only deal with the issue’s that you are prepared to face up too.

Your marriage, your kids, your home, your business and everything associated with you is now at stake. The atmosphere and tension at home is heavy and thick so do you fold, cave in and take it to Jack Daniels or do you seek the Lord and let Him pull you out?

Pornography can never and will never replace any wife, no matter how good or bad you may think she is. So now’s the time to rip up your season ticket, sell your golf clubs, sink the rod, park the bike and just be there for her. Your marriage is you’re first and foremost concern, you can cry and whinge that Satan is attacking your marriage and causing conflict, but if you haven’t made it the first priority in your life then you have allowed the enemy to come in and cause conflict. A lot of church leaders will say there has to be a bit of compromise and you need your free time and space to unwind, well if we are to be to our wives as Jesus is to his bride the church, then we need to be there for her. Has Christ ever taken time out from His Bride to watch the match, go fishing or play golf?  Does Christ ever come to burden His Bride with His problems or concerns?  No! He goes straight to His Father. So likewise, there is no blame game here – you go straight to Jesus to sort out the mess that you’re in.

– be thankful through trials –

There’s no point in acting like nothing has happened.  Life will be a struggle for everybody involved since your secrets have been exposed. The fallout will affect everybody. Your wife will feel as if she is living in a nightmare, a shattered life with all hopes and plans robbed, feeling deceived, bitter, let down, robbed, betrayed. You will never know or understand the hurt and turmoil that you have plunged her into, so don’t be feeling too sorry for yourself, you were drawing your wisdom and knowledge from another source.  Now’s the time to throw yourself at the Lord’s feet and wait there until He prompts your next move.  The Holy Spirit was faithful, He will have given you enough warnings and promptings to your spirit in the past, but you refused to heed them. Be thankful that this has come into the light – this is a second chance that Christ is giving you to become a new man, the other option was spending an eternity in hell or losing your inheritance in heaven.

Now that the Lord has finally gotten your attention – the real work is ready to begin. He will be faithful to lead you daily through this very tough time, it was never Christ’s will that you end up where you are – that was your decision, but one thing’s for sure, Jesus will be relentless in His pursuit to get you out of this mess and heal your wife’s broken heart.  Men you need to be taking ownership of this situation and stand your ground. No amount of guilt can make you be mister nice guy forever. God has to be in the process. Now that the pornography has been exposed it’s time to cut it out of your life completely along with all your other distractions, everything that would hinder your recovery (check out the Quitters check list).

– be the man –

Men, are you the spiritual covering for your family?  Well are you going to stand by and let pornography slap your children around as it has slapped you around? Our sons need to have their sexuality confirmed by their dads. Listen, if he doesn’t hear these words “I love you son” from his dad he may spend the rest of his life trying to prove his manhood by living recklessly, drinking heavily, driving manly vehicles, looking macho – all pumped up, living dangerously with extreme sports or sleeping with as many women as possible to assert his manhood and identity.  This is where pornography and masturbation plays its part, because it keeps him locked into an unreality world that keeps his mistaken idea of manhood alive.

Our daughters also need daddy to give them that loving reassurance as well, providing a loving protective atmosphere which allows them to flourish naturally. Not somebody who has abused them and lets them out of the house to all hours of the night. How many young girls with empty love tanks have turned to hormone-fuelled young men, seeking nurture, love and affection that has been denied by an emotionally absent father? The statistics for under age pregnancies can back this up.

The worst thing that any family can have in the home is an emotionally absent father.  Now this doesn’t mean that he is a bad father – he may supply the basics in life – like food, warmth, shelter, and clothing or lavish everyone in the family with materialism, but basic human loving contact, one on one bonding fatherly love and affection is absent. That’s what moulds us into adults. If that’s missing you could well be running around on an empty love tank yourself and addictions will be queuing up to fill it – especially pornography.

Guys, you have the opportunity to guide your kids away from where you are now. Pornography changes a heart of flesh into a heart of stone, tender feelings into sheets of steel and turns love into abuse. You will never realise this until the Holy Spirit reveals just how much you have changed. It’s been said that the most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother, by this he sets a healthy model for his children to see, the masculine presence, respecting and honouring the feminine presence in the family.

Jesus didn’t come to rule with an iron fist. He came to serve with humility and love, so this should be your starting point on re-birthing your marriage and family. You should no longer be spending hours with pornography or other leisurely pastime pursuits, so that means you will have plenty of time to invest in your forgotten family.  Investing means more than giving your family what they want or taking your kids to church once a week. It’s letting them know that you are also under authority, that you have made mistakes and that things can and will change for the better. It’s having family prayer time and godly discussion on what everyone watches and listens to, family accountability.  As you start to serve your family with a renewed love what you are doing is this, you are disciplining yourself, your wife and everyone around with Christ’s love and image. Click here for Be the Man payer

Gen3x –  Are you hooked on Porn?

“Hear, O Israel, Ye Approach This Day Unto Battle Against Your Enemies: Let Not Your Hearts Faint, Fear Not, And Do Not Tremble, Neither Be Ye Terrified Because Of Them. “Deuteronomy 20v3